It was Friday night and there wasn’t a sound in the house

Not a child, not a dog, not even a mouse

The WHO mother sat on the computer typing

Listening to her friends who were all griping

But this is what she loves to do

To be there for her friends who suffer

Because she knows even on a Friday night too

Sometimes the strongest need a buffer

So first off, i tried it and made spaghetti con speck e pangrattato, it was ABSOLUTLEY AMAZING... IF YOU GET A CHANCE... MAKE IT!!!!!!!

Then i had my ex boyfriend walk into my work today to pick up a video of his daughter i found in my stash... we talked for a bit... uncomfortable i must say.

It was monday so i worked but work was boring and unproductive.

Seeing my blog was a bit backwards on my times of when things occured i will finish off with THE PILLOW FELT SO GOOD I DIDNT WANT TO GET UP......

Good morning.

Timelapse foto..... cooolll

Ingredients

Instructions

My mother used to ask me what it is about this music i like so much.

The human mind comes naturally built in with a certain rhythm and beat. We as a creature appreciated the drumming sounds all the way through history...the beats can be ceremonial, announcing, ritualistic, or expressive. May it have been the Africans with their drums for rituals, may it be the Indians with theirs, either way beats have been around since time began... 

I personally find the beats in these types of music styles to be very hypnotic. Most people have an escape of some sort that helps them melt out of the current present in their lives. May it be working out physically to a pulp, may it be drugs or other addictions for me its these types of music. When i am listening to this music i forget what is going on around me and mend with my own mind. I think more clearly, i feel everything so much more intense. It is my form of meditation i guess. I appreciate every beat as if it were the last beat i would ever hear. I let it take over my mind and body and soul... I just feel it. 

I get lost in the roll of the beats, i close my eyes and feel my mind float. I do not need drugs to appreciate this, just the music........................... my friend just called me a Fucking Raver Child...

HELL YEAH..!!!!!!!!

Decisions, they are the hardest thing a human has to accomplish on a daily basis. Every day we are faced with choices that need to be made. May it be in finances, relationships or just which direction to go on a journey.

There is always a process when making these decisions though. Some decisions are fairly simple i.e." I do not want that because i do not like that", where as others are more difficult. Where that saying comes in you can not have your cake and eat it too. ( I have never quite understood that statment in itself but oh well)

Comedian George Carlin once critiqued this idiom by saying, "When people say, 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too.' What good is a cake you can't eat? What should I eat, someone else's cake instead?".

But anyways, lets take relationships into play. How often do we hear someone saying:" If i could take this person and that person and combine them i would have the perfect person." So they are faced with having to choose between two people and wishing they could have it all. The heart says one thing, the mind says another.

The mind is the logical part of the decision making, the calculation, numeric if you will, the outweighing the pros and the cons in the situation, where as the heart is the feelings, emotions, ya know that feeling just right there in your gut/chest?  Decisions are easily made when the two are crystal clear and in sink with one another, but what do you do when they are at battle? How do you make a decision on anything if the two particles are just not aligning?

Well at that point obviously one needs to outweigh. Weigh the good and the bad in either the logical portion or the emotional. If a person is healthy enough mentally they will know which side is pulling stronger and more often then not that is the correct decision. So one thing i have learned in life is that we have so many decisions to make in life already, why stress about one or the other, our intuitions already are giving us the correct decisions. Sometimes its better to just go with it and let it flow versus fighting what we KNOW is the right thing to do because our juvenile rebellious side is struggling to have its own selfish ways sometimes.

More often then not one ends up following the heart though.......

So, i have been analyzing this in my head for months now.

If you have someone in your life that says they want you but not your life, how does that work?

I am a single mother of three children, ages 6,7 and 8. I am approaching my big 30 rather quickly. I have been married for 8 years and divorced for 4 now. I am to old to play the "DATING" game of having just fun right now.

I am ready for the oh so forbidden word "LOVE". And with that comes a future. My life consists of allot of fun but also allot of stress. Raising three kids is not an easy task and doing it alone is even harder. So yes, i am hoping for a partner in doing so for later on in life. It would be nice. Do i NEED that? No, i want that.....

This is my 'LIFE". So if someone says they want ME.. they need to want the entire package. And if they don't want that they can step.

Now that brings me to another subject that ties into it all. Two people fitting together and it just flowing. There is so much more to relationships then feeling good, being attracted to one another and the sex being phenominal.

Two people need to fit in each others lives, may it be economically, finacially, life style choices or other things. And if one of these catagories do not fit then it can and probably will not work. I can not be with someone that lives to drink/party/smoke weed/and play video games. That would just not FIT with my life. That does not mean i care any less about a person nor am i judging a person for being who they are. I am simply stating that it just does not FIT with my life.

So it is a two way street i guess, i want someone but not his life?